Everything in between

I’ve started and abandoned the idea of starting a blog more times than I can count. Not because I didn’t know what to say, but because I wasn’t sure if anyone would care to read it or if I was creative enough to make what I had to say interesting. I’m a super black and white ‘Type A’ with no padding to me whatsoever. You have to have a little bit of color and fluff to be interesting, right? I guess time will tell.

Anyway…here I am, showing up despite the doubt. Not because I have it all figured out, but because I don’t. And I figure there are plenty of others out there just like me who’ll get it. Who need to connect and who need to know they’re not alone (or crazy). Maybe they just need a friend to lean on for advice.

I’ve felt deeply alone in recent years. And I don’t mean “didn’t get invited to brunch” alone. I mean the kind of alone that creeps in when you realize the friendships you thought were solid… aren’t. The kind where you catch yourself wishing you had someone, just one person, you could call and cry to without explanation, without judgment. Just ears. Just presence. Just a girlfriend. I have my husband, but sometimes husbands just don’t get it. That doesn’t mean they don’t care – they just don’t always grasp the magnitude of our feelings or make the big deals out of things we need them to make big deals of. Whether a warranted big deal or not. Y’all know what I mean.

I own a boutique, and from the outside, I know how it probably looks: she must have it all together, she must be doing well, she must be happy. But the truth is more complicated. I’ve lost friends since starting the business, friends I thought would be the first to show up, cheer me on, and celebrate with me. But instead, they drifted. And it’s left me with all sorts of questions. It doesn’t help that I over analyze every single situation but it’s really made me wonder what happened. I’ve always tried to be a good friend, but maybe I fell short and didn’t even realize it was happening.

And then there’s family. That’s a complicated one too. I’m not especially close with most of mine, though I do have a sister who feels like home. She’s been there and cheered me on for so long. I’m careful with what I share because, well… people read things. But I will say this: sometimes the people you expect to understand you the most just don’t. And that can make the world feel even quieter. If you’ve ever felt like the outsider in your own family, you’re not the only one.

I haven’t changed. I’ve tried hard not to. But something about stepping into your purpose, or chasing a dream, can make people see you differently. Even when you’re still the same girl at heart.

That’s just a snippet of what this blog is about.

This is my corner of the internet where I’ll talk about the things we all think but don’t always say:
The friendships that fade.
The weight of family dynamics.
The mental exhaustion that creeps into your marriage, your work, your motherhood.
The aging. The burnout. The fear.
But also the grace. God’s grace. The growth. The joy that shows up to remind us we’re still here and why.

I want this to be a space where you feel seen. Where you’re reminded you’re not the only one carrying quiet sadness or silent strength. And I want to gently say this: you don’t have to have it all together to draw close to God. You don’t have to be a “super Christian” or fit some polished mold to find comfort in Scripture.

God meets us in our mess, not our performance. I have to remind myself of that often.

And if you’ve ever felt judged or overlooked by people who claim to have it all spiritually figured out (they don’t by the way), you’re not alone and those people suck. Real faith isn’t about looking the part. It’s about showing up, especially on the hard days.

For me, the moments I’ve felt most anchored didn’t come from scrolling social media, they came from opening my Bible, or playing a favorite worship song that met me right in the middle of my grief. That’s where I’ve found peace when everything else felt heavy.

Just know, you belong here. Doubts, flaws, questions and all.

So if you’re reading this and thinking, “Me too” I’d love to talk. Really. I’m craving connection just like you are. We don’t always have to pretend everything is fine. At least not here.

Leave a comment. Send a message. Say hi. Even if its anonymously!

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More to come soon. But for now, thanks for being here.